There was a post over on the DivergentRays blog about mortifying things one has said or done. The example given of seeking out a kitty to pet at a social event is so in keeping with my own likely behaviour: even petting a stone cat is better than having to interact with people! I felt compelled to write a few words about my own personal embarrassing moment.
My own moment of shame
I have never dealt well with social interaction. I have developed some behaviours that allow me to navigate social situations with some degree of control, but I didn’t really begin that process until I as in my early 20s. Prior to that I was generally unable to function in a practical sense in large gatherings.
Around the time I was twenty years old my Uncle Freddy passed away. This was perhaps the third or fourth funeral I attended, and the day was challenging for me to navigate. I couldn’t put names to most of the people I met yet they all seemed to know me, and that left me in a bit of a state. I was old enough that I was expected to act like an adult, but I lacked the social tools for the task at hand. I cannot imagine how hard the day must have been for my cousins, Freddy’s children, but I know for a fact that they did better than I did in terms of maintaining the social graces.
Right at the end of our attendance at the memorial gathering I was presented to my cousin Darcy as we headed for the door. I had no idea what to say: what words could reflect even a fraction of what he must be feeling, or even the comparatively manageable loss I felt at Uncle Freddy’s passing. So I said what came to mind, a pre-programmed social interaction of such stupendous inappropriateness that to this day I remember Darcy’s shocked expression.
I said “Have a nice day.“
What a stupid, heartless seeming thing to say after a funeral service for a loved one. It was not even remotely what I wanted to say: I wanted to produce some words that might comfort Darcy or possibly let him know how much I was going to miss his father, my Uncle Freddy. Instead of such words, what I said was….
… “Have a nice day.“
I can never go back and undo those words. I was truly mortified after I processed what had just happened, and I tried to apologize later, but there is no apology for that. I would have happily been seen under a table petting a stone cat statue instead of saying something like “Have a nice day” at a funeral.
But we all have our social faux pas to bear, I guess: no greater or lesser than the other, just different.
The header image for this post is AI generated using ChatGPT. And no, I never said the world is flat… but that would be mortifying