No phobias yet, thankfully, other than “fear of pain”. I always get a chuckle out of saying that to a dentist. If I could transform into a devastatingly beautiful young woman for a few days, visiting the dentist and saying “hurt me, please….I like it” would be on my list of fun things to do to see what kind of reaction you’d get. As a guy, the reaction probably would tend towards the “call the cops- this guy is dangerous” end of the scale.

I let the whole dentistry thing slide for seven years. I consider the current situation my punishment. The tooth being worked on was in bad shape to begin with. There just wasn’t much of it left to work with, so I can’t place any fault on the dentistry team for the result.

But was I afraid to go to the dentist? No, not really- I just hate the bother. It always seems to mean several days of interruption to my life: not that my life is particularly wonderful, but it’s what I have, and I like it the way it is. And the idea of paying money so I can spend several hours being uncomfortable, knowing that there is a good chance to be a period of pain after the work is done…oddly, the whole process doesn’t appeal.

My dentist seems to be pretty good- he explains a lot about what he is doing, shows me the X-rays, talks about the procedure and such. I like that: things like explaining that he was mixing the temporary crown cement with a small amount of vaseline to make it easier to remove for the endodontist helps me know what to expect.

But it is kind of tough to work up enthusiasm for repeat visits. I had the work done today at about about 9:00 am, and the freezing is still causing my face to tingle strangely. Nothing to worry about, I’m sure. I’m not a hypochondriac, but only because I’ve *trained* myself not to be. I push the worry away, compartmentalize it, and find something else to do. If I allow myself to, I’ll think the worst…and 99 times out of 100, it isn’t anything like the worst. But it does wear me down- the worry is still there, I’m just not dwelling on it.

And taking large (for me) quantities of painkillers causes my little world to be a bit oddly warped. Basically, everything is a little hazy, with odd sparkles around the edges. Strange tingles, off-kilter dreams. the usual tinnitus I live with becoming louder and more triumphant…it disrupts the normal chemistry of what I laughingly call a brain all to heck.