Archive for the 'Geek Miscellany' Category

I realize that the American legislative and judicial system is flawed. Money drives both systems: lobbyist groups can “encourage” legislators to re-write laws to suit them, and wealthy individuals or companies can sue the innocent and wronged into oblivion before their case is even heard in a court.

But this is just too much. Basically, what the new legislation would do is shut off funding to colleges and universities that didn’t implement draconian rules and controls to prevent file sharing/file piracy. These rules would threaten up to $100 billion a year in educational funding.

The RIAA and MPAA, organizations that claim to be defending the “rights” of copyright holders, make outrageous claims regarding the cost of piracy…numbers on the order of $5 or $8 billion a year. Everyone with more than half a wit knows that these numbers are downright fundamentally wrong, inflated beyond all reasonable margins. But let’s say they are right: somehow, legislators have been “convinced” that this $5 billion dollar a year loss in sales of music by such luminaries as Brittany Spears and movies like “Snakes on a Plane” are worth shutting down $100 billion a year in funding for schools and students.

To quote the incredibly irritating slogan of mouth-breathing evangelists everywhere…”THINK OF THE CHILDREN!”

I am a geek, or optionally a nerd if you prefer that term. I know there are some things I am good at: solving complex problems involving computers is probably my forte. There are some things I am pretty terrible at: socializing in general, small talk in a “party-like” environment in particular.

Every once in a while I stumble across something that implies that other people understand me better than I do. An example: The Nerd Handbook , which I suppose could be titled “So you got stuck having a nerd as a companion? You poor bugger…”

An extract from the article:

At some point, you, the nerd’s companion, were the project. You were showered with the fire hose of attention because you were the bright and shiny new development in your nerd’s life. There is also a chance that you’re lucky and you are currently your nerd’s project. Congrats. Don’t get too comfortable because he’ll move on, and, when that happens, you’ll be wondering what happened to all the attention. This handbook might help.

There is also a section on the extremely selective relevancy filter nerds have that sounds incredibly familiar. I tune out things all the time, at home, at work…I hate distractions when I’m focussed. I’ll either simply switch off the distraction or, if it is particularly annoying, growl at it.

I don’t always like some of these aspects of my personality, but I can’t shake them: they are part of who I am. The Nerd Handbook is surprisingly accurate, although nothing is perfect: in particular, I am *not* funny, so that whole section of the article is obviously based on flawed research. But the Handbook is an optimistic piece of writing: it suggests that perhaps some people might care enough for their nerd to want to understand them better.

I like to think that the people who care enough about me will see past my many flaws and perhaps even come to understand that some of those irritating behaviors of mine aren’t bugs…they are features

Every year we buy more halloween candy than we give out. That’s great: I like the little snacks.

And every year I grab a handful (or two, or three…) of the stuff every time I sit down in front of the TV. So, there I am, feeling overweight and lazy, eating hundreds of totally empty calories. I feel this strange compulsion to eat the stuff as fast as possible, so it is gone and no longer a temptation. But wait a sec- whether I eat it in one week, or eat it in six months, I’m still ingesting the same calories.

The secret to losing weight and increasing physical well being starts with moderating calorie intake and increasing the rate of calorie consumption. That is, eat less and exercise more. Yes, there is obviously more to it: things like distributing your eating over the day in smaller meals rather than one or two really big meals, and engaging in certain types of exercise more attuned to burning fat. But at the root of the thing, health and weight is really simple mathematics.

I generally consider myself a reasonably smart guy. But when it comes to my own thinking, what drives me to do patently dumb things, I’m…well, I’m really, really dumb. Want a tiny crispy crunch? Or maybe a little Wunderbar…they are small, have two…or five.

Folks who live in really big cities because they *want* to live there are, in my opinion, kind of weird.  But I can sort of see the appeal of being able to walk to trendy shops and restaurants, and particularly being able to make it to the office without driving.  I can understand how that would be attractive, and if I didn’t prefer having a bit more space and privacy, I could even see living in an urban core.

But what is a self-respecting New Yorker to do if they want to live in the Big Apple and still have the convenience of parking their car right outside the door?  The answer, of course, is an elevator for your car.

I’m fully aware that parking elevators are not new.  But the particular excess here is that each apartment has a private parking garage on the same level as the apartment itself.  If your $10 million dollar condo is on the 12th floor, your parking spot is too- right outside the door.  And you have an elevator right there to take your lovely automobile down to the ground level.

I can just imagine the fun at 7:00 am, waiting for the car elevator to become available, knowing that the millions you spent on your 1200 square foot condo could have bought you a veritable mansion with a four car garage in any normal community.  But hey, its New York, baby!

[tags]new york, condo, urban, car elevator[/tags]

Bill Gates has been traveling a bit recently, and was apparently doing a bit of touring in Africa.  Unfortunately, his request for a Nigerian Visa was initially met with a somewhat rude refusal.

The Nigerians were worried Bill might arrive in their fabulously wealthy and desirable nation and perhaps try to over-stay his welcome, scamming their incredibly generous social welfare programs to support him in his impoverished condition.

Earth to Nigeria: Bill could probably buy your whole country and still have a few billion in change.  Okay, seriously: they probably didn’t believe it was *the* Bill Gates, and reasonably asked to see proof of his financial situation.  But still…you have to admit, it’s funny. 

I have this recurring fantasy of being Bill-Gates rich, putting on my grubbiest clothes, and going in to, say, a Bentley automobile showroom and asking to take a test drive.  Then, when they either try to show me the door or smarmily suggest that the automobiles might be out of my price range, handing them my American Express and saying “I’ll take the whole showroom”.  I think I might update that fantasy to going to  Nigeria, being asked to demonstrate my financial solvency, and handing them my American Express and saying “I’ll take the whole country”.

Weird Al has a spy camera at my house…

I went to meet my Mom and sister Judy at the casino today.  This is a pretty common thing: every couple of weeks they come to the Langley Cascades Casino where Irene and I join them for brunch.  But this day was to be a day for resolving a mystery.  For a week or so, Judy had been telling me that I had to come this Sunday since she had something for me from Shane.

My nephew Shane is a cool guy.  In ancient times, he and I both played Dungeons and Dragons- not together, unfortunately, since we were a twelve hour drive apart by car.  We both occasionally remember the “good old days” of adventuring with pen and paper.  For whatever reason, Shane saw this T-Shirt, thought of me, and got it for me.

I love it!  Not many people would understand what it means, but for me, it brings back many fond memories.  Thanks, Shane!

My nephew sent me a bunch of Youtube links relating to a folk duo from New Zealand called “Flight of the Conchords“  Their music, at least from the samples I looked at, seems to be heavily slanted towards somewhat off-colour humour.  In my opinion, it’s first rate stuff- I spent a good half hour laughing. 

Business Time, the song I’m embedding here, is a prime example.  It isn’t crude, but might not be safe for work..

“…that’s why they’re called business socks”

I’m going to the Abbotsford Airshow in a few weeks with my friend Chris.  I’m not terribly knowledgeable about aircraft, but I enjoy being able to get up close and personal with fighter jets in particular.

But maybe not this close (Gizmodo)….at least not when they are flying at several hundred miles an hour.

This image is taken looking out the back of a Hercules 130 cargo transport.  They were filming the Eurofighter Typhoon, and apparently the director kept asking the pilot to come “closer…closer…”.  Looking at the photo, I’d say the jet is perhaps three or so metres behind the cargo plane.  Now *that’s* close

I am feeling “fat”, and I know exactly what I need to do to fix it.  Eat less junk (not necessarily less *food*, just less junk), and be more active.  But knowing what needs to be done and doing it are two entirely different things.  Fortunately (?), I’ve stabilized for the moment at around 190 pounds.  But I fear waking up one day and realizing I need a crane to get out of bed.

I was bouncing around Youtube today and came across this video.  It expresses more or less how I feel:

“I’m fat cause I eat, then I go to sleep”