I mentioned a couple of posts ago how our cat Susu had fought back from a serious illness.  A few days ago, she took a turn for the worse and stopped eating again.  Susu didn’t have the strength to fight back this time.  We took her to the vet just a few hours ago, and released her from her pain.   Irene and I were there with her at the last breath. 

I’m sitting here now, with the little cat bed she was sleeping in earlier beside me.  The heating pad I was using to keep her warm is still on…there, I just turned it off.   

It shouldn’t be this way…she was supposed to live several more years.   She came into our lives as a kitten along with her brother Bilbo.  It’s just not right having one Siamese sibling: Bilbo and Susu are part of a whole.

Sharing our life with animals is rewarding…but I’m not good at this.  Each time I say goodbye to one of our critters it feels like a piece of me is ripped out.  There’s a piece of me that was attached to Susu, her purr, the way she curled up in the crook of my arm, how she licked my chin sometimes.  I want her back.